Buying a House In Key West, Florida

Welcome to Key West. Doesn’t it look inviting? Especially to those of you who are in below-freezing temperatures at the moment. This is not a travel essay for Key West. Instead, this is a cautionary tale for the extra things you must prepare for in a tourist environment if you plan to move permanently.

This post is for those who want to live differently and have summer all year. It is not meant for the “snowbirds” who live in Key West from November to March, but those who dream, like my husband, of calling Key West “home.”

If you plan to purchase property in any resort area, there are certain things you MUST do before you sign on the dotted line. Areas where tourists routinely travel have different considerations. Many neighborhoods may look the same as yours back home in Ohio, but I assure you, they are not.

A real estate attorney can do all sorts of things related to real estate, whether commercial or residential, farmland, large tracts, golf courses—you get the picture. I narrowed my practice to a niche specialty that was extremely difficult to explain at cocktail parties. Basically, from 1989 to 2010, I specialized in default properties, those in foreclosure, and what happened to them afterward.

Beginning in 2010, we owned properties in heavy tourist areas. As I’m sure you’ve guessed, the first was in Key West. I am very qualified to talk about these things.

Key West is an island at the tip of Florida, a three-hour drive from the mainland. Cayo Hueso is its original Spanish name, which means “bone cay,” or a low island or reef. History indicates it was littered with the bones of prior native inhabitants. In the 1830s, Key West was the wealthiest city per capita in the United States.1 I believe it might be trying for that designation once again.

The drive from Homestead is slow (a 35 mph limit in most places), with turquoise waters off both sides of the highway. The island is small, only 4.2 square miles, and at the time we lived there, it had about 20,000 full-time residents.

The photos of Key West in travel brochures and on travel sites show beaches that look like the state park above. What most people don’t know, and that you should know as a potential resident is that all the beaches are man-made. Key West is a coral reef island without sand unless brought in from somewhere else. If you expect to purchase a home on the beach, of which there are only a few, you might want to think elsewhere. Why?

For much of the year, Key West man-made beaches are subject to vast amounts of sargasso and seaweed that wash on shore. And it smells horrendous. When we lived there, it was a massive undertaking for the city employees to collect the seaweed and truck it to another island north for disposal. Factor this into your property search.

Let’s be sure at this point you have the basics down:

1. You have a GOOD realtor. He or she should immediately suggest you park your vehicle at their office and WALK the neighborhoods where they or you have selected houses for viewing. Key West downtown changes block by block. Just because you loved that little blue house with the yellow trim does not mean its neighbor in the block down the street will have the same vibe and safety factors.

   1. Your realtor should quickly point out the houses that are hotels in disguise;

   2. Houses where they know the tourists come and go and are a problem;

   3. Any drug houses;

   4. Any houses with flooding or other issues;

   5. Any houses haunted or have reputations of weird activity (yeah, this is a thing.)

2. You know how to pull the tax information from the Assessor’s office website. And are prepared that the number you are seeing is NOT a typographical error.

3. You have purchased a property in the past and have enough cash (with proof) or a bank approval letter showing you have the financial ability to purchase a house in Key West. (I.e., you know generally how the real estate system works.)

4. You have deleted Zillow from your phone and instead, use Realtor.com. Do not ignore me. The Zillow data is WRONG.

5. You are not afraid to walk the blocks around your favorite future house in the middle of the night to listen and watch. Several times, weekdays and weekends.

6. You are not hesitant to ask questions.

   1. What are those people doing with those chickens? Will they eat them? They will do what? Why?

   2. Those folks are having a great time. Wait—is that body paint? They don’t have to wear clothes here?

7. You have a reasonable budget and are ready to buy this house—but wait. Do you? Let’s see.

Key West is sub-tropical. Anything, even things you don’t want, will grow rapidly. The photo above shows how green the island is, and it is that way year-round. If you are a property owner, you will either need to routinely (bi-monthly or monthly) hack at your garden to keep it from overtaking your house or hire a gardener—factor in that cost.

Pools are very common in Key West and expensive to maintain. The water comes from the mainland (three hours away, remember?), so it is costly, as is the electricity. When heating your pool or jacuzzi, factor in those costs. Ask for the bills if you look at houses with pools and extensive gardens. You need to know what the homeowner pays in expenses.

Ask what the homeowner pays in insurance—or if they even have insurance. Even a minor hurricane causes significant flooding across Florida. Our house was at the highest point of the island, yet was only a few feet above sea level (the Elevation app today says 7.7 feet.) Our first summer, we boarded up our house twice and evacuated.

You think you know hurricanes until you live in a hurricane zone for years. I’m in my fifteenth year, and they still make me nuts. Are you prepared to live here? Are you prepared for everything you own to be subject to flood, wind, dead fish, and yuck?

The cost of insurance in Florida is prohibitive, and many homeowners of a certain income level are no longer buying insurance. Of course, those at the opposite end of the spectrum cannot afford to pay for insurance, so they are also uninsured. Have your realtor set up a meeting with a local insurance agent, NOT your hometown Ohio agent. Trust me. Florida's living conditions are not the same as Ohio's. Get someone who knows.

Wait, did you check out your realtor? Are they helping you? Or wasting your time? You know, this is Florida…

Wildlife abounds. It is wonderful. Although unexpected at times when it arrives right outside your dining room. Other wildlife, iguanas, for example, are large and frightening. They are all over South Florida, but the ones I lived with in Key West were huge. The city does a great job of spraying and maintaining a team to hold down the mosquitos. You can keep your doors open without screens, but remember that the egrets, iguanas, toads, and other animals will still invite themselves in for a visit.

But these are minor inconveniences.

What are the real issues in Key West? The Tourists. I’ve included several photos from the famous lighthouse on the island. It is one of many sites that people flock to see.

How does that impact your decision to purchase a home in Key West?

1. Noise. I’m sure that the town has a noise ordinance. Enforcing it is another matter. There is a parade every month. There are bands and other noisy events every weekend. Be prepared if you want to live downtown. It isn’t quiet.

   1. Pro: Waking at 3:00 a.m. to hear Jimmy Buffett (now deceased) entertaining the staff from every bar and restaurant in town who had gathered after work to listen to him sing.

   2. Pro: Hearing the jazz walking band practice on your street.

   3. Con: It’s after midnight, and the event hired for the same bar the following weekend absolutely cannot sing. Then, the guys in the hotel behind your house who went fishing and woke you this morning at 4:00 a.m. decided they’d rather party all night than sleep. And they smoke cigars. And, of course, it’s beautiful weather, and your windows are open.

2. There is no parking anywhere except for Publix (the grocery store). You’ll need a bike, a moped, or a motorcycle. Or your feet. It’s a small island. (Also, please check out the small grocery stores, such as Fausto’s Food Market, when you can’t get to the big store on the other end of the island. Will this work for you?)

   1. Pro: You’ll lose 20 pounds.

   2. Con: In the summer, it rains every day. And sometimes, it is a long way to the doctor’s office. The hospital is off the island, too far for the bicycle.

3. Crowds at every restaurant; most are tourists, and they are usually very loud.

   1. Pro: During August, the crowds do get smaller

   2. Con: Don’t select restaurants where you cannot make a reservation. You must go there for lunch or forgo them entirely if you don’t wish to wait.

   3. Please update yourself on the cruise ship situation. I am not current on the fight that occurred between the town and the governor when the cruise ships were blocked sometime around the pandemic. If the cruise ships are still coming to Key West, multiply these issues by five.

4. Important: Look at the schools IN ADVANCE. If you have children, please live somewhere else. Your children will be exposed to many things that might give you pause. Ignore the Florida school ranking system. Other states do not accept it if you decide to move. Your children may be behind if you move to another state. Yes, you can make this work with children, but you, as a parent, must work at it.

Again, these are inconveniences until they hit closer to home. A solution: Look at the islands above Key West for quieter and less touristy areas. There are several small islands with “normal” neighborhoods. School buses, typical small town schools.

Call to the police #1: I woke up one morning to an unusually “busy” day for noise when the mornings were typically quiet. Not that day. I approached the front of the house and realized that a group of four had set up camp on my front porch and had partied for quite some time lounging in my Adirondack chairs and throwing their cans in my bushes. They didn’t want to leave.

Call to the police #2-10: The tiny entranceway to my driveway was used repeatedly as a parking spot, blocking me in. It was not a problem on bicycle or foot days, but it was a definite problem when the child had to be rushed to the emergency room.

Discussion with police #11. My backyard neighbor’s home had been posted on Airbnb for rent. For a year, people harassed my neighbor because they had been scammed into renting the house for significant amounts of money. My neighbor had to lock themselves in their home and post huge signs on the property of the scam. I’m not sure the scammers were ever caught. It is shocking what people will do to property when they are angry.

What I miss about Key West: If you are looking for a community, Key West has one. You will be considered an outsider, but everyone is an outsider except for the original Cubans, known as conchs. Shove your way in and be who you want to be. There is a prominent artist’s community, a writer’s community, and what I call the “rich folks donation” community. If there’s not a group, you can make one. The residents are friendly and helpful when they know you’re also a resident. They’ll give you a 10% discount (or they used to.)

If you’ve researched and decided that you can afford it and want this funky town to be yours, then go for it. I’ve lived in several resort/tourist towns since my time in Key West, and my process for finding a house is the same in all these cities. Do your research into your prospective city (the locals’ attack on tourists in Barcelona is an example of what you might expect before enough years go by when you are considered a “local.”) Then take the plunge.

I simply want you to be prepared.