From Tourist to Resident

There are quite a few sites, either on the internet or on Substack, about Türkiye, but what I've noticed most about these is that they're primarily geared towards tourists. While two of the larger sites are most definitely run by Turks, again, they don’t talk about daily life here, only the most popular sites or areas of Istanbul that you should see. They do not talk about living here.

The best benefit? Coffee costs me HALF what it does in the States. WINNER.

I’ve been a tourist and now a resident. I’ve been asked repeatedly, “Why in the world would you want to live there?” Because this country is ALIVE.

Last week we took a week off and travelled to Estonia and Latvia. My husband has seen most of Europe and decided he would finish his “Baltic tour” with these two countries and be done with that part of the world. I tagged along. You can see my comments on Latvia here, and Estonia, here. While I’m always a little homesick when I’m away, this trip, after two days, made me ready to be home.

I thought I’d take you on a day trip of errands and give you a taste of what my day is usually like in Istanbul. In the U.S., I hate chore day. There’s usually traffic and fussy people, and I want to be home, writing or being with my family. But here? It’s something altogether different.

The Food

We always stop by a pazar. There are sites all over the country that will give you the list of which neighborhood is hosting the outdoor market on what day and time. No matter where you are, or in what part of the city, you can find an open market. Most of the food is local (not bananas, except the tiny ones from the eastern side of the country.)

If you’ve read my prior posts, you’ll know that one of the best reasons both to visit and live here is the food. It is fresh, mostly organic, and lush. It makes a world of difference in the taste of everything. If we are in the car, we will stop by at any point and stock up. If we are walking, then the pazar is last due to the weight of the food and having to carry it home.

I’ve learned the difference in taste between cheese made from cow, goat, or sheep’s milk. My favorite white cheese here is a mix of all three. It is lush without the grainy texture found in the feta cheese in the U.S., and without the “goaty” smell.

The Restaurants

Last week, we stopped for lunch first, and my husband, as usual, wanted fish. Off Istiklal Caddesi in Beyoğlu, the center of town is the Çiçek Pasaj, the place that used to house all the flower vendors for the city. Now it is full of restaurants. Hearing the history of this tiny street, I could close my eyes and see the Russian flower vendors from a hundred years ago.

This small street opens up onto the fish market, and my husband had his fish. I ate meze (vegetable appetizers) since I’m not very fond of fish.1 He and the maître d’ discovered they shared acquaintances from their high school days. This is typical for my husband. We cannot go anywhere without running into someone he knows or connecting with someone’s friend. I was surprised years ago to find that in a city of millions, he could do this. Now, it’s part of chore day.

Chores

We headed off to Karaköy, down the hill from Taksim Square, to find hardware stores. Notice the sign on the bakery below? That is a list of all my favorite desserts. You can rest assured that I will return here to have a San Sebastián as soon as possible. Probably next week. What is it? Cheesecake with hot fudge on top. They fix the huge (tall) New York-style cheesecakes, give you a gigantic slice, then pour (not drizzle) hot fudge over the top. Maybe it is tourist food. Who cares.

Below is the hardware store. There must have been fifty or sixty in this area, and they all look just like this. No Home Depot here (although there is that type of option out in the suburbs). My husband was hunting for some weird wallboard screw, and after the fifth store, he found what he needed. Then we were off to the key maker. He had two tiny keys for Master locks at the farm. The standard locksmiths were unable to duplicate the keys, but in the hardware section of Istanbul, they can duplicate almost anything.

Yep, this part is going into the next book.

Having a Turk for a spouse is beneficial, and of course, the main reason I live here. But I fell in love with the country three years before we were married. I had plenty of time to learn about the country before diving in.

Are there negatives? Of course. 2

Here are three examples.

Shopping for Women is Difficult

The clothes are the same here as they are in other parts of the world. It is the sizing that has been difficult for me. In 1990, I couldn't find any stores that sold clothes that fit me. I wear a U.S. medium or large, not anything too complicated, yet during that time period, those did not exist here.

Then there was one store for about fifteen years where I could purchase clothes, whether I liked the styles or not. At least they fit and were not styled for the size 2 to 4 runway model.

Now, I find that I can purchase from international stores, usually chains, that offer consistent sizing between Europe and the U.S. I don’t trade at H&M, but have found some things at Zara, and other things at COS. Still, the Turkish sizing will either be too small (usually) or way too big. There are two boutiques where I shop, but the clothes are still too big for me most of the time.

The solution? I purchase my clothes in the U.S. and bring them here. I've found some basic things that help me blend in a bit better, but with my blonde hair, that’s a waste of time anyway. I don’t blend anywhere.

Women’s Healthcare for Menopause is Non-Existent

I have been on hormone therapy for years. I will never not take it. This was a decision my doctor (several of them) and I made together. These medications (the ones I am taking now) do not exist here, not even compounded. We even checked with the head of the pharmacy association, and the only ones I could purchase were for horses. (!) I hope to rectify this with a new physician in Miami and different meds.

However, please be advised that if you are a woman over 50 who needs medical care in Turkey, stay away from the discussion of HRT. You will be frowned upon and lectured, even by the new doctors. They are simply thirty years behind. I have found pharmacies in Ireland that can fill my prescription, but that is for an emergency only.

Otherwise, the medical care is excellent. I was warned about my heart condition and my gallbladder early on, something that the U.S. doctors never even thought about.

Don’t Go to a Coiffure with U.S. Expectations

The aesthetics for clothes and hair here are very different, even though the words may be the same. I’m going gray, and wanted to dye my hair platinum. In the U.S., that usually means a silverish white. However, in Turkey, using the same word, it’s YELLOW. Their word for blonde, is also YELLOW. Know before you go. Ask questions, use pictures, and still be warned that your hair color and style may not be what you expected.

And, as always, you get what you pay for. If you want a cheap haircut, it will look like a cheap haircut.

So why did I fall in love with Türkiye? Like I said above. This place is ALIVE.

People are not afraid to talk to me, ask questions, or offer me help or advice. If I smile, they smile back at me. They are polite, even the guys in the Grand Bazaar who try to sell me things. I do not see women cat-called here. I’m not afraid of simply walking down the street. Was it always that way? No. When I arrived in Izmir thirty-plus years ago, I had no clue, and everything frightened me. But I learned.

We Live the Life

Years ago, my husband told me that I needed to learn to “live the life.” I had no idea what he was talking about until he explained and showed me. As a lawyer in the States, I was set on “go” from six in the morning until after midnight. That isn’t how they do it here. While they may get up early or stay out late, it is because they are having fun, doing something they enjoy—not working all those hours. Yes, they work, and work hard. But they also do other things.

We took a break later in the afternoon on chore day and had coffee and dessert while overlooking Istiklal Street. This main shopping street was full of people getting ready for the Galatasaray football (soccer for U.S. people) game later in the evening. They come here to eat, drink, and get ready to be LOUD. They are living their lives out loud, and reminded me of just before a Red Sox baseball game.

After a day of chores, food, and dessert, we always take a ferry ride home. This part—the ferry ride—is what taught me to wind myself down and simply be.

Are there other places in the world to live? Of course! That is what travel is about—opening your mind and deciding if you want to make a change. At this point in my life, this is home, and I’m very happy to be here.