New York City

I’m ready for the next trip. Are you?

The Rule

My daughter lived in the City for four years before moving to London. I remember that first trip and the shock of leaving my firstborn in that new and crazy world. In the South, New York City was considered an evil place where bad things happened to everyone. My nephew (my age, long family story) moved there when we were teenagers and died of AIDS. Yes, we have a history with the City.

But I had made the rule for both kids—no higher education in the South. Get out and see the world. Learn about things that I didn’t. Take courses you want to take, not just those required. Leave the country. Learn more than one language. Be a traveler and a person of the world. So they did.

And the first one chose New York (but of course she did.)

Sorry for the blurry image above, but I don’t photograph things well when moving across a busy street. This is iconic New York—everyday life with the noise, the bustle, and the smells. There is nothing like the smell of nasty garbage, subway, and uck in summertime NYC. I’ve compared that smell to other cities where I’ve traveled, and the perfume of this city is unique.

Wouldn’t you have loved to have this view from your dorm? I know I would. However, the first year was not this good, and the rats (yes, in the dorm) were an issue. NY has a rat problem and a rat czar. I'm unsure if anything has changed with that new office, given that she’s only been there a year, but we can all hope.

Understanding

I had to change my view of the city to survive the four years. So, I forced myself to look at it as if I had no preconceptions, no biases, a blank slate. For a writer, this is a good thing. It teaches you how to look at others differently. For a Southerner, it is a very difficult thing. We are all very opinionated and know we are correct in everything. I had to break that.

So, as usual, I walked. I watched the people and tried to understand why the city's residents loved it. And soon, I understood. This city was like my younger self, with a Quad A personality that was rough around the edges and loved controversy and fighting about anything. A blunt person who spoke her mind. The me before law school and marriage and kids, before responsibilities took over and life had to have a purpose and direction. This is New York, and I easily fit in.

Yet, it isn’t all rough. There are the softer, smoother, more pleasant sides of New York: the parks, $1 pizza, the quiet museums, the libraries, quaint tiny cafes in out-of-the-way places, takeaway coffee and a nearby bench, and skateboarders.

People flow along with their lives with earbuds, music, and their internal happiness, using the city as a video backdrop of entertainment. And, of course, there are the trees. The green part of the cities, like the West Village below, always attracts me the most.

The City is Helpful

The unusual and helpful things also drew me to New York. In learning the city, the subway system is key. Using a taxi or a ride-share everywhere is too difficult and expensive. You need your feet, and you need the subway. My first few trips were daunting (remember the smell at the end of the summer?) I got lost a few times.

Eventually, I knew the trains and learned how to exist, crammed into too many people, and how to fight my way out when my panic attack was too much. This proved to be excellent training for Istanbul buses on rainy days.

I asked for directions. You can be blunt in New York because they are blunt, but you immediately know how to get where you’re going. Flying into JFK and taking the train is always a fun (!) experience. When loaded with suitcases to help move into a dorm, and then later when additional things were needed for an apartment move, there was always a young hand fitting under mine to lift them and take them from me up the stairs at Fulton Street and then a quick smile to be sure I’m ok before they leave me to carry on.

The first time it happened, I admit I was more than a bit nervous. Was I being robbed? No, I was being Southern and a bigot. So, I looked more closely at the people around me. They were normal people going through their day, giving a helping hand and reminding me that the world did not revolve around me and my truth wasn’t always THE truth.

The City is Unusual

You cannot go through a day in New York without seeing something or someone unusual. I’m a fan of the water tanks on the buildings. The one above was especially nice. And below is only one tiny example of the artwork in the city. But the people are the most unusual, particularly those who want to be seen. Flashiness, nakedness, loudness, those who will do anything to make the foot traffic flow stop and gander.

Then there are those like me—the Invisibles. I wear black in New York because it makes me comfortable. Black is my travel wardrobe, which becomes an everyday wardrobe when I’m there. No one looks at how I dress, cares about how I talk, or even notices me in passing.

It is a relief to be so invisible when I want to be. I’ve been so loud most of my life. Sometimes I want to be hidden. The only time I was asked about my very Southern accent was at a bar in Murray Hill by another visitor from North Carolina whose accent matched mine. Being invisible after ten years of being scrutinized in Charleston is also a relief.

Yes, there are the homeless, the intoxicated, and the extremely out-of-the-ordinary folks clad in things I would never wear. But thousands of people like you and me enjoy living close to others and enjoy the conveniences a city this large can provide. Every day is an adventure, and if I take the time to look, I will see something I have never seen or be given an experience I’ve not had.

I’m not the only one who feels this way. Mari Andrew’s post “My Virtual Art Show” brings NYC to light. You’ll see these things if you only permit yourself to look.

The Best Walking City

New York is the best walking city I have experienced in my travels other than Istanbul. I like not having a car yet being able to get to anywhere I need to go. There is always something to see and do, some new food, art, or entertainment experience to try.

And there are the bridges. Every city I go to now has a bridge, and I find myself walking over it. Maybe it is because I need to be close to water to relax. Who knows? New York is no exception.

The skyline from Brooklyn immediately brings back the memory of a terrific day when I wandered with my daughter, had brunch with her friend, bought my favorite hat, and talked and laughed all day. There are a zillion places I could recommend you try, but what is the fun in that? Find your own. Half the fun in traveling is finding something no one has recommended, a place off the tourist-trodden path that is a spectacular find.

The city influenced my child and provided a university education and another education about life. In turn, it made me open my eyes to all things different and unusual. For that, New York will always be a special place.

Welcome to the City.